TRADITION! TRADITION!..... TRADITION!

There's no better way to celebrate Valentine's Day in Africa than to go to a traditional wedding. Let me attempt to explain to you what I witnessed on Sunday, although I'm sure that this is something you just have to see:

Irene was pretty much raised by the St. Francis Sisters here in Bafut after being orphaned early in life. She is finishing school nearby. Her fiance, Eric, is a nurse just finishing his clinicals at Mayo in Minnesota in the Neuroscience Clinic. Eric wants to lock Irene down; and anyone can easily see why- she is smart and beautiful. One might think the fact that he is in another hemisphere a barrier to their wedding happening now, but in Africa, you don't actually have to be at your own wedding. What's more important is that your family, your fiance's family, and everyone who has had any part in raising you at all is present. And that things are done according to tradition.


Eric's family arrived from Kumbo, a village about 100 km away, Saturday afternoon. The negotiations began shortly thereafter. Sister was away burying the Archbishop, so we didn't make any of Saturday's festivities, and I can't tell you what went on. However, I did arrive shortly after 11 a.m. Sunday at a traditional house on the other side of Bafut. Almost as soon as I got out of the car, Sister Judy ran up and spirited me away. She informed me that even though things were scheduled to start at 10 a.m., no one was anywhere near ready and that we were going to take a little side trip. Judy and I drove 20 k.m. through the bush to Bambui, where some of her patients from SAJOCAH, the handicap center, work a farm. The farm is on the land of the Dominican Monastery, and it was really beautiful. Although I didn't get to meet "Judy's boys", I did have a nice time enjoying the peaceful atmosphere and seeing more of the country on the ride. I met a Domincan Sister named CATHERINE, and she was overjoyed to meet me. Everyone here is too friendly!

At about 12:30 p.m. we got back to the house, and things were supposed to be getting started. We gathered inside the dirt-brick house: only important family members of Irene, a few sisters, and I had a seat. Along one wall was a bench for Eric's family. Since Eric is suffering in the snow with you people, his brother represented him in the negotiations. Eric's family lined up and entered the house, took their seats, and then.... nothing. We kinda just sat there for 20 minutes, staring at each other, sweating, breathing. After awhile, two or three more people trickled in and we were finally able to start. After a Christian prayer that the talks go smoothly, things got pretty secular.

Eric's family had to present specific gifts in order for the wedding to be official. Something like 60 Liters of Palm Wine (African moonshine), 60 Liters of Palm Oil, hens, beer, soda, and who knows what else. First a bunch of crap was bought in for the men of Irene's family. It took about an hour. Then another bunch was brought in for the women, which also took a long time. Thankfully, since one of the gifts was beer, we all began the celebration and I was able to stay sane in the heat. Sitting squished together on a wooden bench against a dirt wall is not easy! Yet, I was really honored to be a part of the tradition.

Since they aren't just going to give Irene away for practically nothing, her aunts rejected the chickens, claiming they were too small. Then negotiations had to begin again, and about an hour and a half later, things were settled. Then Eric's family had to pay Irene's closest male relative a "bride price", which is a couple hundred thousand franks, which is a couple hundred dollars. Then we got to eat!

We made our way across the street to a hall where a dj was set up. The women brought in tons of food, including a bunch of the pig that I saw them sawing open earlier in the day. Everything tasted different than anything I'd had before, but it was good! About an hour and a half later, it was time for the final stage.

We all treked back to the house and assumed our positions. It was time to present Irene. A woman guided another woman with a veil covering her face in. Eric's father had to inspect the bride. Then he removed the veil. Alas, it was a trick bride! The family brought in a different woman. Everyone laughed and fake Irene was guided out. This was repeated with some other girl, but then finally Irene turned out to be under there on the third try. She was in traditional garb, and she had to sit in the middle of the house. Her relatives rubbed her in palm oil and different people blessed her. Apparently she's going to have twins AND triplets in the future! After the rubbing, everyone began to yip and celebrate. Then it was time for Eric's family to take their bride away.


Even that wasn't smooth! When we all reached the road, Irene's family claimed the embankment was too steep for her to walk down. They demanded that Eric's family carry her! Some strong young man stepped up to the plate, grabbed Irene, and carried her running to the car! They quickly shut the door. Finally, she was theirs. Everyone danced in the road, singing, laughing, and rejoicing. The wedding is complete, and Eric and Irene are now officially married.

The couple will have a Catholic ceremony this summer, when Eric returns to Cameroon. Let's all congratulate them and wish them best of luck with all those multiples Irene will have to give birth to!

Catherine